It wasn’t until this past Saturday at the KCRW’s Good Food Pie Contest that we finally got to encounter LACMA’s art rock star Levitated Mass in person. We’re aware that we are the last people in the city to see the Mass and we were also well aware of what Heizer’s installation would be: a giant floating boulder. It’s a sublime entry in land art that points toward man’s ability to deconstruct the Earth, its placement ironic as the impenetrable natural rock is framed in man made structures. The story of Mass is now carved into Los Angeles art history as its arrival became a sensation.
Standing and observing Mass, you realize its power. You also realize that it is just a giant rock that was fortysomething years in the making. It now sits in a small desert off of Fairfax and is one of the most Instagramed art pieces in the world (that’s just a guess, though). Meditating on the piece, we got to thinking about what else Heizer could have levitated and what it could have meant for the city and art. Is a “mass” the most powerful image? We think not. Thus, we thought up some ideas and made renderings of other masses that would be nice additions to LACMA’s property.
To appeal to the Los Angeles party community, a giant floating flask would be the perfect way to draw in boys and girls who just want to drink. What’s an art show without an open bar? Levitated Flask would solve this as viewers would be able to drink from it if they like, making the sculpture experiential beyond the simple encounter of person and art piece. It’d be a lot like MoMA’s Untitled (Placebo) by Felix Gonzalez-Torres but with booze instead of candy.
Adz incorporates the already standing mass, which would be the base for a giant adz to be implanted into. Like the big rock’s pointing toward what man can do to nature, the addition of the adz would complicate what man can do to rocks even further. It’s also, like, a cool reference to the classic Sword In The Stone story.
To honor one of the four musicians behind iconic California song “California Dreamin’,” a giant shrine to Cass Elliot would be an excellent way to celebrate the song, the musicians, and the life of Mama Cass. No other art museum in town has capitalized on the importance on the song and its relationship and influence on California culture. Why not steal the opportunity before another institution does? Tourists also love that song.
We’re close to the ocean. People love boats. Since we can bring the land to the city, why not bring the ocean to the city? There could even be a sheet of water placed underneath it that viewers can look under to make you feel like you’re a fish looking up at a boat. #EXISTENTIAL
In an attempt to bring in foodies, a few giant Mast Brothers Chocolates would be a great idea. They would naturally melt out onto the art viewers, pointing to how fleeting life is. This would require constant replacing of the bars and upkeep but–hey–anything for art.
We heard this was actually the initial idea Heizer had, literally pointing to the Catholic church and God. Instead of alluding to the grandness of nature and the idea of “a maker,” this Levitated Mass would require a functioning church with a clergy. It would be part religious experience, part interactive art, and part performance. Think of all the communities this Mass would attract!
To welcome new Los Angeles Laker Steve Nash, it’d be great to celebrate him with a sculpture in his likeness that would be overlooking LACMA’s property. Heizer could collaborate with Ron Mueck to create the piece, which would really be a clever middle finger to Jeff Koons’Three Ball 50/50 Tank (which is a part of the Broad Contemporary). It’d also get those Laker fans into an art museum.
Like the rock, this is a nature study. If possible, it’d be wonderful if they could get a giant bass. Maybe they could even fashion a giant bass out of smaller basses? Or what if they made a giant bass (fish) out of basses (guitar)? Or vice versa? Visual puns are so relevant!!!!
American Apparel would be wise to get into the art world. This would be an excellent tie in (and potential opportunity for a Ron Mueck collaboration as well as Am Appy to expand into a clothing line for Giants).
Heizer knows that gas prices are high and the the whole Gulf oil spill is happening so why not make a giant canister of gas and put everyone’s money where their eyeballs are? It, too, is land art in a sense as it represents the end of a cycle that we humans have made to breakdown the Earth. Also, duh, LACMA is right next to the Tar Pits. Think about it.
Like the Mama Cass sculpture, a giant record dedicated to Alice Glass and her Crystal Castles would be so fucking smart. Like, they’re a big band and, like, people LOVE their music and they’re so totally hardcore. It’d be a landmark union between artsy art and cool art. A sound system would even be installed to play twenty four hours of their music. Take that, The Clock!
Like the mast, they could grow giant floating lemongrass. Viewers would be encouraged to use take some with them and share recipes on how they use their lemongrass at home. This would also be an excellent segue into the museum starting a farmers market.
You remember Sassy, right? The nineties magazine is long overdue in being recognized for its contributions to culture. It has inspired so many young men and women and its influence is still palpable. We’d love to see some sort of homage, which–like the other ideas–would really bring in cool indie people into the museum. They could even swap out different giant versions of back issues, like the iconic Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love issue featured above.
Dedicated to anyone who has ever broken a bone or gotten hurt, this medical/art fusion would be most relevant in a world of advancing technologies and war. A puppy in a cast would be the ideal manifestation of this concept as it would show the fragility of all life and it’s really fucking cute.