It’s that time of year: when American Apparel unveils their slightly brilliant, slightly silly DIY Halloween Costumes. This year brings in the same mashing of genius and groanworthy apathetic holiday costumes, some of which seem like repeats from previous years (Hi-Liters? Football Player and Cheerleader?). As I like to do every year, lets examine the DTLA retailer’s costumes, breaking down just how inventive or absurd these outfits are.
A few things to note. First, their Halloween webpage features a really great .gif effect that animates all of the costumes. That’s the best addition to the costumes in years! Also, this may be a fluke or totally intentional but all of the photos of the costumes are at the width of 666 pixels. Regardless of intentions, that is brilliant. Let’s dive in, shall we?
Name: Pin-Up Girls
Concept: Want to look sexy *and* have a bit of late fifties nostalgia? Be a Pin-Up Girl! Their suggestion for girl archetypes are a faux-Mexican with no bra on, a nineties cowgirl, and an airline pilot who fell over.
Silliness: This is actually kind of clever, save for the braless one who is going to get groped by some drunk asshole. At least it is a somewhat “nice” sexy Halloween costume? Maybe?
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: You could actually get a lot of wears from the Roller Short, Fishnets, and other items you buy because you’re not totally desecrating them.
Cost: From $97 (for Mexi-pin-up) to ~$153 (for fall’d over airline pin-up)
Name: Glitz (Male) Toddlers
Concept: Toddlers & Tiaras…from Silver Lake! Last year at Halloween I saw a lot of people dressed as this–and I specifically saw a lot of gay bros dressed as such. It seems like Am Appy pulled directly from them? Regardless, I do think it’s clever to use male models over female models for this. They get the camp of that show!
Silliness: It’s not that high. However, you could go to Iguana or American Vintage and get a glitz dress for super cheap…
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: For a guy? Zero. You won’t wear this again. For a girl? Maybe? If you find a value in a petticoat…
Concept: It’s a bat, aka a guy with a batwing hood on and a grimace.
Silliness: This may take the silly cake this year because it’s so absurd and not-costumey. You’ll look like an extra from a music video, specifically Bat For Lashes’ “What’s A Girl To Do.”
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Well, if you wear batwinged sweaters…
Cost: $199!! (+ ears)
Name: Dead Milkman
Concept: It’s like a regular milkman…but not alive. MiiiiIiiiiIiLllllLLLllLlKkkKKkKkkKkk.
Silliness: This is a fairly clever costume so it’s not that silly. What is silly is that you’d have to dirty and destroy some fairly expensive clothes to achieve this look. Also, if it doesn’t come with that fantastic makeup job, I’d reconsider being this costume.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Not very functional since you’re going to chop it all up.
Cost: $157 worth of torn new clothes.
Name: Alien Tourists
Concept: Just your basic tourists from the Midwestern Nineties…but these are from Mars. I do like the smug mug of the male alien. Makes me almost believe he’s from Wisconsinenus.
Silliness: Not that silly. But, you will be in greenface. If you are into being painted for an entire night, go for it. Enjoy them nineties clothes, too.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Pretty good? As long as they aren’t stained green.
Cost: $174 and $319 (SHEESH, MALE ALIEN.)
Concept: Whiteface with athletic clothes on over it?
Silliness: Pretty high. Whiteface? To be a mannequin? I would have guessed they were Patrick Nagel people.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: I suppose high if you work out in Am Appy clothes or you’re in the market for a hoodie.
Cost: $125 and $129! Not *too* bad!
Name: Neon Sign
Concept: Blackface and neon lights?
Silliness: What? Blackface? Where do you buy that neon string?
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Blackface???? Or is it a mask?? What is going on??
Concept: You’re a kite! Fly through parties and get people to give you drinks because you’re a cute little kite!!
Silliness: This is adorable and may be my favorite costume they made this year. It’s so sweet and simple and actually like something you would want to make!
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Pretty high. If you like that shirt, this is the perfect excuse to get it. Everything else seems like you could potentially use it, too.
Name: White Wolf
Concept: I’m really not sure. Is this in reference to a literal white wolf or some figurative something that I’m missing? It just looks like some girl with a deformed skull mask on.
Silliness: I don’t even know. What is this costume??
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: OK. You’re going to have to paint and/or tatter the end of everything so that may be a waste for a costume that no one may understand. (Note: The oversized t-shirt dress used in this would be a great base for a hospital patient costume.)
Name: American Flag Girl
Concept: You’re really excited for the election and you want to show it? Or, you’re the biggest fan of *American* Apparel and you want to show your pride in everything they make being made in America? USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! etc.
Silliness: Not that high but not that low. The biggest question with this costume is, “Why would you want to be this?”
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Gurl, if you want to wear a USA swimsuit or USA legging post holiday, have at it. It’s all you, boo.
If those all didn’t get you jazzed about October 31 in Los Angeles, I don’t think anything else will! What do you guys think? Any costumes from here you thinking of wearing? Any suggestions of costuming from Am Appy? Thoughts? Halloween CostumesCheck them all out here.