I love New York magazine. I hate New York–but I love New York magazine. This has been written about time and time again because the magazine looks great, captures what is on the city’s mind, and it does an excellent job of making me want to set it on fire because everyone who contributes to it has their head so far up their own ass smelling doodie whiffs of New York streets that it makes me want to vomit and vomit and vomit. I hate it. The most infuriating New York moment comes late in December with their annual Reasons To Love New York issue, a self-congratulating, self-masturbatory pat-on-the-back from New York to New York. It’s disgusting and I hate it and I always throw the issue against a wall at least five times, hoping that its isolated elitism rubs off onto Los Angeles (even if just a *little* bit).
This said, I want to steal some of the magic from that stupid Reasons To Love New York issue that I hate and give a brief rundown of Reasons To Love Los Angeles (and California!) Right Now. It isn’t as thorough as their issue (yet!) or as manicured but this is a first attempt to match them point-by-point (in no particular order, all seventy four points) and speak to our own city pride. Why do we love Los Angeles? Let us count the ways…
1. Because the Rose Bowl can be a sports venue, a retail attraction, and a center of culture.
2. Because Bus + Art = Moving Art.
3. Because we simultaneously care enough about sports and hate sports that getting a football team is harder than you would think.
4. Because our government officials look better than your government officials.
5. Because we help out our friends in times of need, AKA LA Hearts NY, etc.
6. Because we could secede–and survive.
7. Because everyone is looking at us today.
8. Because of all these artsy neighborhoods!
9. Because Jerry Brown is a fighter.
10. Because bike sharing is coming.
11. Because we like to help each other.
12. Because its exciting to eat here.
13. Because Hollywood (the neighborhood) is making a comeback.
14. Because we can make art.
15. Because we have the space to make art.
16. Because we can fight about how art is shared.
17. Because we are very wary of potential New York interlopers.
18. Because walking–and not walking–is a legitimate issue.
19. Because we finally have a poet laureate.
20. Because we make driving art.
21. Because Donald Trump doesn’t live here.
22. Because of all the space we have.
23. Because we can fight to make transportation better.
24. Because no one cares about celebrities.
25. Because we would never publish anything like this.
26. Because there isn’t a West coast equivalent of the New York Post (thank God).
27. Because you can go for years within your own Eastside or Westside ecosystem.
28. Because we have The Eastside and The Westside.
29. Because most people under fifty question our “biggest” news outlet.
30. Because the Walt Disney Concert Hall is still so beautiful after all these years.
31. Because we had and–will miss!–Huell Howser.
32. Because we love creative oddities like this, this, and this.
33. Because of cheap spas.
34. Because tacos.
35. Because so many architectural wonders are hidden underneath our noses.
36. Because what other city has a river that isn’t a river?
37. Because biking is getting cooler and safer.
38. Because the Valley is so wonderful (and goes on forever!!).
39. Because the subway will one day reach the ocean.
40. Because Palm Springs.
41. Because Joshua Tree.
42. Because Santa Barbara.
43. Because you can own a car.
44. Because you don’t have to own a car.
45. Because Obama comes here when he needs to raise a little extra cash.
46. Because we love making puns off of the word “armageddon.”
47. Because the entire city becomes a basket case when it rains.
48. Because we can live in the desert (even though we are not in the desert).
49. Because we–basically–started and can perfect food trucks.
50. Because hiking is our city’s sport.
51. Because people chase their dreams here.
52. Because we made the Metro run later.
53. Because we’re ready for anything.
54. Because someone is always debating about marijuana.
55. Because seeing a movie being shot never gets old.
56. …because you’re annoyed a movie is being shot near you.
57. Because of January days that are seventy degrees (or more!).
58. Because you can live in the forest.
59. Because you can live in the ocean.
60. Because you can live in the city.
61. Because we love to hate or hate to love Coachella.
62. Because a lot of you–Yes, you New Yorkers.–are eyeing moving here.
63. Because highways can become moving spectacles.
64. Because we have really good vintage shopping.
65. Because we don’t have bad attitudes.
66. Because we can shut down parts of the city so people can ride their bikes or walk or simply not drive.
67. Because things like Fashion 21 exist…and no one knows about it!
68. Because we don’t have just one excellent public radio station–we have two excellent public radio stations!
69. Because we cannot be defined (and don’t want to be defined) by shows like Gossip Girl or Girls.
70. Because we’re still the best at controversial rap.
71. Because everyone loves to make fun of us.
72. Because you can own a pet and have a yard for that pet to play in.
73. Because sometimes it feels like no one has a real job.
74. Because public art is fought for.
75. Because of this weather.
Phew. That took a lot out of us. Do you have any to add? Do you also get infuriated by the silly New York magazine Reasons To Love New York issue? Should we make this a yearly thing? Share your thoughts!