You are going to think we are insane but we paid twelve dollars for a bottle of water. TWELVE. Yes, that’s insane. Imagine going for a jog and drinking a bottle of water that costs that much: “Man, this is good, expensive water. I’m so refreshed. I definitely couldn’t have seen a movie or bought an album or gotten a third of a tank of gas or a week’s worth of Metro tickets or a flat of water for the value of this water.” That is true. You know what though? This twelve dollars was spent on a local water that is based in luxury and is a fascinating exercise in marketing, presentation, and hydration: it’s Beverly Hills 9OH2O and it is pretty good. We’re sure it’ll be getting a television show soon, too.
We found the beverage the same time we found the peculiar aforementioned Puddles Cookies. We were convinced it was vodka based on the gaudy bottle but, after reading the packaging we realized it was a punny high end water. We stared at it for a while and wondered who would buy this but we realized that, duh, we need to buy this. We need to share this. It’s bottled in Beverly Hills and is made from Northern California water and refers to itself as the “champagne of waters.” This is something we need to know about since the bottle looks like an art deco expensive something. They also only made 10K of these and each bottle is individually numbered: each one is special.
Okay, sure, it’s a little insane and totally expensive and very high-end in a ridiculous way. How does it taste? Not bad. Yeah, sure, it’s water but this is one of those “thick” waters that is full of minerals and rich in a light salt flavor that is natural while being unnatural. As we would colloquially say, “This water has a lot of beef to it–on the palette, that is.” It’s nice and fills you up but, hey, it is not as clear and refreshing as Fiji. That said, the packaging and marketing of it is so fancy and special: they did a great job. We literally bought into it and love everything about it from the diamond bottle to the Deco font(s). Drinking this, we felt like we were only allowed to take a sip and then take it to Good Shepherd of Beverly Hills to be blessed.
Yeah, okay, sure: this water is expensive. Don’t think of it that way, though: it is a genius move by a B-Hiller to use that part of town as a marketing gimmick. And it works! You know that we are not the only people who have purchased it out of curiosity and props to them for doing something so ballsy. There have to be more luxurious waters, yes, but for as affordable as it is, it is totally worth it buying into. We will milk the bottle for as long as we can and–if you want it–grab it at Monsieur Marcel or be all rich and fancy and buy a case online. We can already see this being toted around a celebrity and getting its own spread in a tabloid magazine. We’ll say, “We knew you when, BH2O.”