Tomorrow’s the big day: the dreaded Valentine’s Day. We at LAIY are not particularly big fans of the holiday so we wanted to share a few ideas for you lone wolves out there or bitter buffalos who want nothing to do with the outlandish love celebration. Why not do something special for yourself? Yes, you can! You shall overcome!!
• If You Hate Valentine’s Day Because It’s A “Manufactured Holiday”“: Because you can’t just go to a regular supermarket to make yourself a dinner, take the Gold Line to Highland Park and Tuesday evening Old L.A. Farmers Market. They likely won’t have any of those dumb, lamestream heart shaped cookies and they’ll have flowers that aren’t just roses because, yeah, roses aren’t naturally seasonal right now.
• If You And A Group Of Friends Are All Recently Single: Since you’re a group and are likely inadvertently on the prowl, there are two places you could head to: Lucha VaVOOM or Dreamgirls Revue. Lucha is the now classic Los Angeles luchadores stomping ground that will be serving up a love themed battle tomorrow night. On the opposite end of the spectrum, take you and your friends to Rage in West Hollywood for the legendary Dreamgirls, which is the best drag show in Los Angeles, hands down. Ru Paul’s Drag Race favorites Raja, Delta Work, Shannel, and others will be performing tomorrow and there will be lots of giveaways, for sure.
• If You Are Bitter And Jaded And No Longer Believe That Love Is Real: Go to Powerhouse on Highland, order a pitcher of PBR, and just coast. If there is any place to give the middle finger to love in LA, it’s Powerhouse. Drink your bitterness down with all of the other lonely hearts in there.
• If Music Heals or Aggravates Your Anti-Valentine’s Black Heart: You’ll definitely want to go to The Echo’s *free* music pow-wow with tons of acts that both celebrate and condemn the fourteenth of February. What’s the event? The Valentine’s Day Song Massacre, a concert being marketed as the “sad hour” and a celebration of “heartbreak/heartbeats of love and romance.”
• If You Know And Believe In Your Heart Of Hearts That You Will Find Love Soon: Take thee to go see the ultimate Valentine’s Day movie Before Sunrise at the New Beverly. This movie will melt anyone’s heart and, surely, you will not be the only single and hoping for love person there. If the power of movie magic will catalyze love somewhere in town, it will be here.
• If You Just Don’t Give A Fuck: Go to Cinefamily’s 100 Greatest Fucks. It’s sold out, sure, but who fucking cares?
• If You Want To Be Your Own Valentine: Swing by K&L Wines on Vine and grab yourself a nice bottle of bubbles. Get yourself a nice movie or album at Amoeba and some take out from The Mercantile. Lastly, before you leave the area, stop by My Garden Nursery to get some flowers. Go home and treat yourself to a delightful evening because you are worth it.
• If You Want To Win The Title Of The Most Pathetic Person In Town: Around 8PM, go to Tailwaggers in Franklin Village. You’re hoping to see some dogs and cats but, since you don’t own a pet, you don’t know they don’t have dogs or cats at the store everyday. But, you’ll wait there and try to catch a glimpse, eventually realizing you look creepy. You’ll wander over to Oaks Gourmet where you will have a much-longer-than-necessary talk with the barista when ordering coffee. You’ll sit and drink the coffee inside, hoping to attract someone’s attention. After seeing one or two B+ list celebrities, you’ll realize you should go–but not without beer! You grab a nice beer and, maybe, a sandwich and mosey down Franklin. You’ll see a line, ask what it’s for, and then realize that, yes, you’d love to see UCB’s 11PM Valentine’s Day Singles Mixer!! You’ll wait in line, hopeful, and get to the door to find out it’s sold out. You’ll wait standby and not get in and then hop in your car. You’ll sit there for a few minutes, thinking about drinking the beer, but instead will drive home, to conclude your Valentine’s night awaiting someone to message you on OKCupid. (Please note: that is in no way how this writer spent Valentine’s Day a few years ago.)
And, remember, you can always get a nice dinner by yourself and call it a night. No shame in that! (And, here are some suggestions of places to do that.)
If you are in love and need some ideas, here are three, briefly:
• Go to Amoeba and buy a nice, cheesy, romantic movie to watch in whatever genre you and your boo fancy and have a nice, quiet, night in. Order in some goodies from LA Bite. Gourmet sandwiches and pies, delivered from Simplethings, anyone? Yes, please!
• You and your loved one should go to the Farmers Market at The Grove and pick up some nice meat and vegetables and wine to make an intimate dinner at home. Of course, you will need some dessert, which means you’ll just have to try some of Short Cake’s Valentine’s specials.
• Want to propose? A few ideas of perfect venues: Mullholland’s Jerome C. Daniel Lookout Point, the top of the ferris wheel on the Santa Monica Pier, The Standard Downtown’s rooftop, in front of Chris Burden’s Urban Lights at LACMA, in front of the new wall on Sunset and Sanborn, at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre (with a street performer, naturally…Maybe after going to see Breakfast At Tiffany’s at the Egyptian?), or at a quiet table in the back of the legendary Musso & Frank.